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Skiers for Trump 2016

Skiers for Trump 2016

 Skiers have a responsibility to exhibit Control and Respect, both on the slopes and at the polls.

There is a major problem facing the ski world in 2016, a wave of unwanted, un-American change. Donald Trump is the one candidate brave enough to stand up to it.

Donald Trump will not stand for everyone and their grandmother switching over to tech bindings.

The liberal marketing of uphill skiing has been ratcheted to an all time high. At good American resorts skiers cartwheel through mogul fields on techy setups, yardsaling their heart rate monitor and water bottles. They pick up their odometers and rock climbing helmets and chat about plans to “go for a tour up a groomer later.”

Joggers who have never skied before are now calling themselves skiers because they “ski run” to the top of their local hills only to skid, wedge, and tomahawk back down.

  

Trump at a recent rally: “I mean you gotta see these guys” 

The liberal policy of open production tech toe bindings is destroying skiing as we know it. If Hillary Clinton, or worse Bernie Sanders is elected to the Presidency this policy is sure to continue.  By 2020, few if any American skiers will remember how to rip downhill GS turns or zipperline through a mogul field. We’ll be just like the euros, wearing spandex suits and leaning back on toothpick sized skis. We’ll GoPro our transitions.

We need Trump’s leadership to Make Skiing Great Again.  At a recent rally he said, “Skiing is about going down hill fast, not this lame tech toe bullshit. If I’m elected President I promise to renew Dynafit’s patent and subsidize the production of Look Pivot bindings through tax breaks. I will also mandate that every skier have at least one downhill specific binding in their quiver. I won’t sit back and watch the next generation of American skiers be raised as a bunch of back-seat, tip-wedgee needing randonée ski joggers.”

 Originally posted Winter 2016 on www.firstattemptouterwear.net where you can find more totally brainless ski related content.

October 12, 2018 by Abbott Gilbane
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